Forts

When I was little, much to my mother’s chagrin, I loved forts. Once every few weeks I would build one in my room, gathering every spare sheet, blanket, and pillow that we owned. Then I ‘d crawl inside and make a little home for myself. All the things I loved lived there with me. My favorite books. My most beautiful dolls. My best stuffed animals. I would leave my fort up for days.

I loved the feeling of safety that my forts afforded, the sense that no one could see me or touch me. I loved that there were walls and a roof and they were so close that I could touch them, make sure they were intact.

Lately God has been revealing something to me. My fort building ways didn’t stop just because I grew up. I still build forts. In fact, I’ve become quite the expert. Only, now, I build them around my heart. And they are made of concrete.

Somewhere along the way, I believed the lie that I am too much to handle, that if people really knew me, they’d run away. Shrieking. If you know me, you have seen this evidenced in my propensity to apologize about everything—like I’m trying to apologize away my very existence—and in my tendency to keep people at arm’s length when it comes to any depth of relationship. Because, I figure, if I don’t let you in, then you can’t hurt the things I care about most. You can’t tear my favorite books or steal my most beautiful dolls.

It’s not such a happy way to live.

And so, in recent weeks, I’ve been working up the nerve to pick up the proverbial sledge hammer that God laid at my feet quite some time ago and start swinging away at those steel reinforced concrete walls. That’s one thing I love about God—He gives us the tools, but He never forces us to use them, only invites.

I have to admit, I’m a little bit terrified—even writing this has been hard. I actually started this particular blog entry weeks ago, I guess as a way to stick my head out of the fort and test the weather. And ya’ll…it’s been a hailstorm ever since. Enough to make me duck back inside for a couple weeks. But I don’t want to stay inside anymore, because while I’m protected from the storms, I also miss the sun.

And so. Here’s to the first swing of the hammer.

I am not very good at this blogging thing. I'm better about my Xanga. So if you know me and care to know about my life, go there:

www.xanga.com/sparkle916

The end.

Not to toot my own horn...

Ok, maybe a little tooting. As most of you know, I've been in school the last four semesters working to finish my degree (which I will accomplish, Lord willing, in April). And I just finished another semester. I only took 2 classes, Italian 201 and Brit Lit: Victorian to Present, because I wanted to give myself ample study time. I wasn't too worried about Brit Lit, since I'm an English major and I usually know what I'm about in all my Lit classes. But I was freaking out mildly concerned about Italian. This semester was my third semester and I took my first 2 semesters about 4 years ago. Needless to say, I remembered very little. My goal, honestly, was just to pass. A C or better would have been fine with me.

Well, friends, my grades just got posted and I TOTALLY GOT AN A!!! In both classes!!!!!!

I really don't mean to be all Braggy McBoasterson, but I am so excited because I really did work my heiny off this semester. And I really needed some good news today. Adam and I are currently in a time of...we'll say...testing. And things seem to be piling up all around me. I'm really trying not to wig out and I'm definately learning that dependence on God cannot coexist with my tendency to try to control and micromanage my life, as well as those of the people around me. So seeing my grades today really boosted my spirits.

I hope everyone is having a great week and finding true joy in this crazy, overly commercialized, but so meaningful holiday season. Merry Christmas, everyone!!! (That was a little Charlie Brownish and I like it.)

~erika

Let It Snow

I tend to get a bit annoyed around mid-November, when Halloween candy is still sitting on my counter and Christmas ads mount a full scale attack on my television and radio. I really don't ever feel truly "Christmasy" until after Thanksgiving. And, even then, I have a hard time without snow and decorations. So, in light of the 3 day blizzard we've been having and the fact that our Christmas tree and decorations are up, I'm definately more in the Christmas spirit. I can even stand Christmas songs on the radio and sometimes (::gasp::) I even seek them out.

Before we get too far into the thick of the Christmas season, I thought I'd share a few pics from the last two holidays. I have, as yet, failed to share any photographic proof that we did indeed participate in these holidays. So, I thought now as good a time as any. Here goes:

I was a super mom at Halloween this year and my kids wore the same thing as last year. They looked a little haggard, but I didn't waste $40 on costumes that they wore for about 20 minutes. This makes me a self-proclaimed super mom. And if you don't agree, well, then, you're probably one of those mothers who spent $50 on costumes for her kids or actually had the time to make them. Kudos to you. Leave me alone.

At least they weren't weeping this year. Here's a pic from Halloween 2007. Ok, so they're not weeping, but this is one of the few pics in which they're not. Notice how I switched they're costumes this year. I'm so crafty!

Here's Adam and I at Thanksgiving. It's a little sick that we match, but I promise we didn't plan it. Notice Adam's very professionally trussed turkey. He took a lot of pride in it and it was delicious!

And here's just a few cute ones of my kiddies. One day last week Addison refused to take a nap and then passed out on the couch at 4:00. This is Asher shushing everyone to not wake her up while simultaneously attempting to climb into her eye.

And last but not least... Two weeks ago Addison started sleeping in her big girl bed. ::SOOOOOOOOB::

Isn't she as precious as she could be??!!!

Happy weekend all!




~erika

Picture Day

Original Post: Tuesday, October 07, 2008

On Sunday we had our family pictures taken by wonderful, amazing Kasey. It was...interesting...to try to get both of our near-2-year-olds to hold still, let alone look like the world wouldn't come to an end if they were captured on film. Thankfully, Kasey has talents galore and magicked out some amazing shots. Here's a preview. I haven't even seen the rest, but I am so excited!!! To see more of our fam or Kasey's beautiful photos go to www.xanga.com/POSH_photography or http://www.poshphotographyonline.com/ .

And with that, my friends, I am officially caught up in my endeavor to copy all of my Xanga posts onto this blog. Hallelujah! Except now Sarah's telling me that I can't slurp it up. Bummer. Hopefully it will be fixed soon.

~erika

New Hampshire

Original Post: Tuesday, September 16, 2008

We are back from New Hampshire and, I have to say, it is so good to be home. If I ever again think it is a good idea to drive 17 hours to somewhere, only to spend 2 days there and then turn around and drive 17 hours back, somebody please knock me out and tie me up until said lunacy is over. At least the 2 days there were pleasant. Saturday we went to Adam's cousin Hannah's wedding and had a nice time. Weddings are always fun. Below are some pics. Then Sunday we took a drive (I know, right? More driving? For recreation?) up towards the mountains and Lake Winnipesaukee, hitting Alton Bay and Gilford and Laconia. Adam used to live in Gilford when he was really small, so the Lynds family took a little trip down memory lane.

It was actually really interesting to watch. I, of course, have none of the memories that Adam and his family do. So, for me, it was just more driving and some pretty views. But for Adam's family, especially Adam and his sister Aubury, these places conjured up images and memories and emotions long forgotten. We stopped at the cottage in Alton Bay that they vacationed at every summer as kids and I got to watch as their eyes lit up just like they probably did when they were 4 and 7. They pulled me around pointing out the boulders and trees and trees they used to climb and the beach they used to romp around on. We also drove by their old house and school in Gilford and ate across the street from the shop Buzz, Adam's dad, used to own in Laconia.

The only spoiler to the day was that I was miserably car sick. New England roads are definately NOT Michigan roads and I think I would take flat and pot-holey to winding and rolling and heaving any day. Other than that it was a nice weekend away. Although I think we're all exhausted and don't want to see another rest stop for the rest of our lives, it was fun to spend time with each other and see a place that is so near to my husband's heart. Here are a few pics...

Adam and his cousins Josh (left) and Jordan (middle), ready for their boy band album cover

Aub and MeMaggie (doing a jig) and Buzz
Abbie and Matthew (Adam's cousins, adopted a year or two ago from Africa. Matthew let us have his bed for the weekend. Thanks Matthew!)
The hubby and me

At a restaurant in Laconia. I got scallops fresh from the ocean. Yum!
A view from a scenic lookout...I think in Vermont?
A view of Alton Bay, Lake Winnipesaukee, from the old cottage
Adam and Aubury at the old resort

So that's that. Like I said, I am ecstatic to be home and getting back into the swing of every day life. I missed my kiddos terribly and being back with them makes even the exhaustion from the trip seem small. Hope you all had a great weekend, too!

~erika

And We're Away...

Original Post: Saturday, September 13, 2008

Hey ya'll. I'm in New Hampshire for the weekend. We were in the car from 5:15 am to 11:00 pm. It was rough, to say the least.
I'll update with some pics when we get back. Pray that my babies do OK at my mom's for 4 days without us. Yikes! I miss them already.

~erika