Original Post: Tuesday, July 08, 2008
There are zillions of things that I love about being a mom. Little feet and little hands. Little smiles and little giggles. Lots of hugs. Hearing my babies say “PEEZ!” after I’d almost given up on them ever understanding the meaning of manners. But one of my most favorite things has to be the way God uses motherhood to teach me things about His character. Last week brought one of those lessons and it was so smack-me-upside-the-head-blatant that I giggled about God and His way of doing things for the rest of the day.
The kids’ booster seats are set up on two kitchen chairs that sit against the wall of our dining room. Usually these chairs stay put, but sometimes, like when I need to vacuum up the aftermath of our daily lunchtime explosion, I push them back so they end up making a barrier between the dining room table and the wall. Last week, this barrier was in the way of my sweet little boy as he tried to reach his sippy cup. As some of you know, my son is a Tonka truck. He is strong and tough. If something is in his way, he will move it. If something isn’t working for him, he will make it work (which usually means breaking it, yelling UH-OH!, and then playing with it the way he originally intended). So, when Asher encountered this barricade of wood and green and white striped fabric, rather than go back the other, completely unobstructed way around the table, and despite my warnings to cease and desist, he proceeded to push against the chairs with all his might. However, instead of the chairs gliding gracefully aside and opening a path for his highness, they tipped over with a loud clatter, scaring Asher to tears.
With a knowing shake of my head I scooped him up and held him, knowing that he hadn’t been hurt, and I smirked at his insistent stubbornness. I whispered comfort into his jelly-crusted hair and kissed his tear-streaked face. Then I looked at him and said, “Honey, Mommy told you not to push on the chairs. I told you to wait for me and I would make a way for you because I knew that if you tried to make a way for yourself you’d get hurt or scared...”
Oh.
Even as the words left my mouth, I was humbled and floored as memories scuttled through my mind of those very words being spoken to me by my gracious and loving Lord time and time again. And I continued to reflect on those words long after Asher was set back down and had resumed his usual mayhem.
I think I have always imagined God saying those words with a finger shake, scolding me. “I TOLD you to wait for me!” But that brief incident with my son made me wonder how many times God’s heart for me has looked more like mine did for my child—full of love and patience with just a hint of amusement at that persistent quest for independence. And I smiled, because I’m pretty sure that’s what God’s heart usually looks like for me. After all, I’m His kid. And while He may get upset with my sin or my resolve to do things my own way, He never gets flustered and He certainly never wavers in His love for me. And His way always is better. I've learned that lesson more times than I'd like to admit. My king does, in fact, know what's best for me. Just like He said.
And I am so unbearably thankful. For God. For His unwavering love. And for my children that teach me new dynamics of that love every day. God is so good and my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude and love for Him. I hope you know His love, too, because it’s great. Both in the amazing sense of the word and the vast sense. I know that probably sounds a little cheesy, but it’s true, so I don’t care.
Hope you’re all having a blessed week.
~erika
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Picture Post...finally.
Original Post: Monday, June 30, 2008
There have been a few people (Kasey) that have been wonderfully faithful in reminding me to post pictures of our new house. Well, folks...today's the day! Here are pics of my new house and also a few of my kids that my amazing mother-in-law Maggie took because they're adorable and I felt like it. Enjoy!
(NOTE: On Xanga these were all in some semblance of an order, however, Blogspot has decided to give me the finger and exclaim, "I do what I want!" and put them in whatever order it pleases. So sorry about the randomness.)
The wound
My wonderful and messy kitchen
Our dining room and fireplace (taken from the kitchen, if you're trying to relate everything spacially).
My living room (taken from the fireplace) with my new mammoth couch.
Our bedroom
My favorite room (thanks for the color advice, Linda! You're amazing.) There's a desk in this room now at which I am currently sitting.
Downstairs play room. It never looks like this. I just happened to clean it up in order to vacuum today.
~erika
There have been a few people (Kasey) that have been wonderfully faithful in reminding me to post pictures of our new house. Well, folks...today's the day! Here are pics of my new house and also a few of my kids that my amazing mother-in-law Maggie took because they're adorable and I felt like it. Enjoy!
(NOTE: On Xanga these were all in some semblance of an order, however, Blogspot has decided to give me the finger and exclaim, "I do what I want!" and put them in whatever order it pleases. So sorry about the randomness.)
My Kiddos
The wound
My wonderful and messy kitchen
Our dining room and fireplace (taken from the kitchen, if you're trying to relate everything spacially).
My living room (taken from the fireplace) with my new mammoth couch.
Our house!
Our bedroom
My favorite room (thanks for the color advice, Linda! You're amazing.) There's a desk in this room now at which I am currently sitting.
Downstairs play room. It never looks like this. I just happened to clean it up in order to vacuum today.
~erikaTuesday, September 23, 2008
I'm back...
Original Post: Saturday, June 28, 2008
Sitting down to write this post, I'm realizing that it is the first time in 2 weeks that I've breathed a cathartic sigh and released the tension in my shoulders. By the way, that's actually one of my favorite parts about writing...the relaxation and mental emptying that I force on myself before my fingers ever touch the keyboard. Writing with stress is, for me, like trying to paint a VanGogh replica with finger paints. It just doesn't happen.
Anyway, enough of that. I just thought I'd share a bit about the last two weeks in the Lynds' household. I'm actually a little overwhelmed at this task because quite a bit has happened. And, while I've written many witty and detailed posts in my head while laying in bed the last several nights, they are currently all managing to elude me. Ah well. I'll give you some highlights.
On Saturday, June 14 we officially moved in to our new house. You'd think I'd be all O Happy Day, Calloo Callay, I'm out of my parents' house. But that wasn't quite the way of things. I've long been aware of the fact that I struggle with change, even if the change being made is a great and necessary one. So for me, this move was a little bittersweet. I had gotten to live with my two best friends (Adam and my mom) for over a year and now I was leaving one. No more running upstairs to steal a shirt from her closet, no more crossword puzzles at the snackbar, no more having her around to giggle uncontrollably with at a moment's notice. This fragility was coupled with the fact that my children did not have the easiest transition either. Adam and I decided to give them their own rooms and Asher did not take to being left alone in a room to sleep. His solution: learning to leap out of his crib. So, for a couple days, I was a little sad. I'm over it now, like I knew I would be, but those few days were hard.
Monday brought a new week and a whole new set of problems. Being my first full day alone with the kids I decided to venture out into our yard, which is big and wonderful, but slightly treacherous for toddlers who have yet to become consistently sure-footed. Within ten minutes, Asher had fallen on our brick patio and cracked his head open. If you've ever seen your child gush blood from his or her head you know how scary it is. The whole thing is really a blur. I remember ripping his shirt off to stem the flow while trying to figure out where the blood was coming from because it was everywhere and screaming at Addison to Get back here! as she scampered away across the yard. Lots of tears, a trip to urgent care, 4 stitches and a bit of counseling that I am, in fact, not an unfit mother later we were all patched up. However, we have not been back outside yet without additional adult supervision.
Thankfully, that is where the trauma ended and the fun started to creep back in. We opened boxes with things long forgotten and got lost in the nostalgia of it. We rediscovered decorations and kitchen supplies like they were Christmas presents. We bought a comically large couch and a toddler bed (for my monkey son). I pulled out my books and alphabetized them (yes, I am a very nerdy bookworm). We had people over. We went over to other people's houses and got to come home to our very own.
And God has continued to bless us in ridiculous ways. We decided to get a new heater and put in central air and God dropped both units in our lap for next to nothing. We wanted a couch for the downstairs playroom and someone called us specifically to give us the exact kind of couch we wanted. Throughout this whole process I have been floored over and over again by the graciousness and goodness and generosity of God. Through all of it I've learned that when God keeps knocking you down with his amazing faithfulness, the best thing to do is just stay on the ground. So that's where I've been lately. Facedown on the ground thanking God for the blessings He's been pouring out on us, being humbled by them.
So, that's been my last few weeks. I hope all of yours have been blessed and full of the goodness of God as well.
~erika
Original Post: Thursday, June 19, 2008
just moved and am still without the internet. more later. the kids are melting.
Sitting down to write this post, I'm realizing that it is the first time in 2 weeks that I've breathed a cathartic sigh and released the tension in my shoulders. By the way, that's actually one of my favorite parts about writing...the relaxation and mental emptying that I force on myself before my fingers ever touch the keyboard. Writing with stress is, for me, like trying to paint a VanGogh replica with finger paints. It just doesn't happen.
Anyway, enough of that. I just thought I'd share a bit about the last two weeks in the Lynds' household. I'm actually a little overwhelmed at this task because quite a bit has happened. And, while I've written many witty and detailed posts in my head while laying in bed the last several nights, they are currently all managing to elude me. Ah well. I'll give you some highlights.
On Saturday, June 14 we officially moved in to our new house. You'd think I'd be all O Happy Day, Calloo Callay, I'm out of my parents' house. But that wasn't quite the way of things. I've long been aware of the fact that I struggle with change, even if the change being made is a great and necessary one. So for me, this move was a little bittersweet. I had gotten to live with my two best friends (Adam and my mom) for over a year and now I was leaving one. No more running upstairs to steal a shirt from her closet, no more crossword puzzles at the snackbar, no more having her around to giggle uncontrollably with at a moment's notice. This fragility was coupled with the fact that my children did not have the easiest transition either. Adam and I decided to give them their own rooms and Asher did not take to being left alone in a room to sleep. His solution: learning to leap out of his crib. So, for a couple days, I was a little sad. I'm over it now, like I knew I would be, but those few days were hard.
Monday brought a new week and a whole new set of problems. Being my first full day alone with the kids I decided to venture out into our yard, which is big and wonderful, but slightly treacherous for toddlers who have yet to become consistently sure-footed. Within ten minutes, Asher had fallen on our brick patio and cracked his head open. If you've ever seen your child gush blood from his or her head you know how scary it is. The whole thing is really a blur. I remember ripping his shirt off to stem the flow while trying to figure out where the blood was coming from because it was everywhere and screaming at Addison to Get back here! as she scampered away across the yard. Lots of tears, a trip to urgent care, 4 stitches and a bit of counseling that I am, in fact, not an unfit mother later we were all patched up. However, we have not been back outside yet without additional adult supervision.
Thankfully, that is where the trauma ended and the fun started to creep back in. We opened boxes with things long forgotten and got lost in the nostalgia of it. We rediscovered decorations and kitchen supplies like they were Christmas presents. We bought a comically large couch and a toddler bed (for my monkey son). I pulled out my books and alphabetized them (yes, I am a very nerdy bookworm). We had people over. We went over to other people's houses and got to come home to our very own.
And God has continued to bless us in ridiculous ways. We decided to get a new heater and put in central air and God dropped both units in our lap for next to nothing. We wanted a couch for the downstairs playroom and someone called us specifically to give us the exact kind of couch we wanted. Throughout this whole process I have been floored over and over again by the graciousness and goodness and generosity of God. Through all of it I've learned that when God keeps knocking you down with his amazing faithfulness, the best thing to do is just stay on the ground. So that's where I've been lately. Facedown on the ground thanking God for the blessings He's been pouring out on us, being humbled by them.
So, that's been my last few weeks. I hope all of yours have been blessed and full of the goodness of God as well.
~erika
Original Post: Thursday, June 19, 2008
just moved and am still without the internet. more later. the kids are melting.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Disco Pirate Bunnies and Dancing Warrior Babies
Original Post: Monday, June 09, 2008
I've been promising that I would write about my son for some time now. I have to admit that I've gotten all worked up about it and may be setting myself up for failure. But, ah well. After watching him the last few days I can't help but share the wonder that is Asher.
Let me start with a story about the tragedy of a little show called Bunnytown. This show airs on the Disney channel very early in the morning. So early, in fact, that my kids thankfully sleep well past it most of the time. However, lately they have been slightly anti-sleep and have gotten up just in time for good ol' Bunnytown. I've shared before that I usually let my kids watch a little bit of TV in the morning and by this point they know how to turn the TV on by themselves (a fact that is a little embarrassing to admit because of its reflection on my mothering techniques). Most of the time I'm scrambling to make them breakfast and I pay little attention to what they're watching as long as itsanything but Sponge Bob Nick Jr. or Disney. A few days ago I finished making breakfast and went into the living room to grab the kids and put them in their chairs so they could eat. Before I knew it, I found myself strangely captivated by the television, which, you may have guessed, was airing said Bunnytown. The nicest word I can use to describe this debacle of a show is..."disturbing." Perhaps it's the complete lack of plot or storyline. Perhaps it's the idiotic way in which humans are portrayed (who's ever had a funny-face-making contest with a giant potato? And lost?). But I think, more than anything, I simply cannot wrap my mind around the idea of multicolored bunny puppets singing freakish songs while dressed disconcertingly similar to the Village People.
On this particular day, after being mesmerized for an unfortunate amount of time, I snapped myself out of my bunny induced stupor and made a move for the power button on the TV. At this precise moment the bunnies, dressed as sparkly pirates, began a surprisingly catchy tune entitled "Disco Pirate Bunnies." Again, I was stopped in my tracks at the sheer absurdity of such a song. Then, out of the blue, Asher came bounding into the room from whatever cubby he had been hiding in and began dancing like an African tribesman at a new moon ritual. Feet stomping, arms flapping, body careening all over the room, shrieks of delight bellowing from his mouth, he held nothing back.
And this is one of my favorite things about my sweet son. His no-holds-barred passion. When Asher does something, he does it. He doesn't tiptoe around things looking for the safe way or the comfortable way. He just dives right in and hopes for the best. This idiosyncrasy that is so dear to me has led to many a scraped knee and bumped head. Yet, he is not thwarted and as he grows, so does his gusto. He is the most passionate little man I've ever known. Just like his mommy, he feels things deeply. And just like his daddy, he is rough and tough. I adore this combination in my son. I love that one minute he is flexing his muscles and pumping his fist yelling, "straight G!" (actually it sounds more like "date dee" and, yes, I know it's a little disturbed that we taught him that) and the next minute he is curled up on his daddy's lap, in what Adam has so aptly named the Buck-o Barka Lounger, gently rubbing the silky ears of his haggard little bunny. When he laughs, it is with his whole body. And sometimes laughing isn't enough, so he lets out a piercing shriek that is so full of joy that it makes the bleeding eardrums worth it. He dances and spins. He beats drums and anything else that makes a cool sound. He climbs and leaps. And, when his sister is crying, he locates her bunny and pacifier and brings them to her, those big, brown puppy dog eyes full of concern. He is my little warrior and my teddy bear.
So, now you know a little more about my amazing lightning bolt of a son. He is special in ways that I will never be eloquent enough to write down in words. I cherish him with every fiber of my being and I LOVE being his mom. While a few short paragraphs don't do him justice, I hope I've captured enough of his essence to make you fall just a little bit in love with him, too.
Don't mind the drool. He's been teething for a year straight.
~erika
I've been promising that I would write about my son for some time now. I have to admit that I've gotten all worked up about it and may be setting myself up for failure. But, ah well. After watching him the last few days I can't help but share the wonder that is Asher.
Let me start with a story about the tragedy of a little show called Bunnytown. This show airs on the Disney channel very early in the morning. So early, in fact, that my kids thankfully sleep well past it most of the time. However, lately they have been slightly anti-sleep and have gotten up just in time for good ol' Bunnytown. I've shared before that I usually let my kids watch a little bit of TV in the morning and by this point they know how to turn the TV on by themselves (a fact that is a little embarrassing to admit because of its reflection on my mothering techniques). Most of the time I'm scrambling to make them breakfast and I pay little attention to what they're watching as long as its
On this particular day, after being mesmerized for an unfortunate amount of time, I snapped myself out of my bunny induced stupor and made a move for the power button on the TV. At this precise moment the bunnies, dressed as sparkly pirates, began a surprisingly catchy tune entitled "Disco Pirate Bunnies." Again, I was stopped in my tracks at the sheer absurdity of such a song. Then, out of the blue, Asher came bounding into the room from whatever cubby he had been hiding in and began dancing like an African tribesman at a new moon ritual. Feet stomping, arms flapping, body careening all over the room, shrieks of delight bellowing from his mouth, he held nothing back.
And this is one of my favorite things about my sweet son. His no-holds-barred passion. When Asher does something, he does it. He doesn't tiptoe around things looking for the safe way or the comfortable way. He just dives right in and hopes for the best. This idiosyncrasy that is so dear to me has led to many a scraped knee and bumped head. Yet, he is not thwarted and as he grows, so does his gusto. He is the most passionate little man I've ever known. Just like his mommy, he feels things deeply. And just like his daddy, he is rough and tough. I adore this combination in my son. I love that one minute he is flexing his muscles and pumping his fist yelling, "straight G!" (actually it sounds more like "date dee" and, yes, I know it's a little disturbed that we taught him that) and the next minute he is curled up on his daddy's lap, in what Adam has so aptly named the Buck-o Barka Lounger, gently rubbing the silky ears of his haggard little bunny. When he laughs, it is with his whole body. And sometimes laughing isn't enough, so he lets out a piercing shriek that is so full of joy that it makes the bleeding eardrums worth it. He dances and spins. He beats drums and anything else that makes a cool sound. He climbs and leaps. And, when his sister is crying, he locates her bunny and pacifier and brings them to her, those big, brown puppy dog eyes full of concern. He is my little warrior and my teddy bear.
So, now you know a little more about my amazing lightning bolt of a son. He is special in ways that I will never be eloquent enough to write down in words. I cherish him with every fiber of my being and I LOVE being his mom. While a few short paragraphs don't do him justice, I hope I've captured enough of his essence to make you fall just a little bit in love with him, too.
Don't mind the drool. He's been teething for a year straight.
~erika
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Stupid Computer
Original Post: Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Remember how I said that coming soon was a post about my dear, sweet son Asher? Well, yesterday I wrote it and I have to say, I was very proud of it. It was tender and heart-felt and I was proud of myself for expressing my soul's contentment in words. Then, seconds before I was to hit the Save button, my computer gave me the proverbial finger and hurled my post somewhere into the World Wide Abyss.
It was very sad for me. I'm pretty sure that I punched a pillow and almost cried (also in that post was a confession about how I've been ridiculously weepy lately). I'm still a little bitter at my computer, but later, when I have more time, I will attempt to duplicate my special tribute to my muscle-flexing, everything-smashing, beautiful, passionate son.
For now, though, I just wanted to share some very exciting news....
Adam and I are officially home-owners!!!!!!!!!
For those of you who know me well, this has been a long time coming. We are so thrilled and humbled by this blessing. So, let me clean up a little and we will have a house-warming shindig to end all house-warming shindigs.
Oh, and I'll post some pics soon. Have an amazingly blessed day!
~erika
Remember how I said that coming soon was a post about my dear, sweet son Asher? Well, yesterday I wrote it and I have to say, I was very proud of it. It was tender and heart-felt and I was proud of myself for expressing my soul's contentment in words. Then, seconds before I was to hit the Save button, my computer gave me the proverbial finger and hurled my post somewhere into the World Wide Abyss.
It was very sad for me. I'm pretty sure that I punched a pillow and almost cried (also in that post was a confession about how I've been ridiculously weepy lately). I'm still a little bitter at my computer, but later, when I have more time, I will attempt to duplicate my special tribute to my muscle-flexing, everything-smashing, beautiful, passionate son.
For now, though, I just wanted to share some very exciting news....
Adam and I are officially home-owners!!!!!!!!!
For those of you who know me well, this has been a long time coming. We are so thrilled and humbled by this blessing. So, let me clean up a little and we will have a house-warming shindig to end all house-warming shindigs.
Oh, and I'll post some pics soon. Have an amazingly blessed day!
~erika
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Blessings in Flesh and Blood
Original Post: Sunday, May 18, 2008
For most of my life I have had friendships that...um...we'll say, that required extra grace on my part. For some reason I attracted girl friends who were obnoxiously self-centered and extremely passive-aggressive. Because I always strove to be a loyal friend, I ended up being poorly mistreated and my friendship was abused. To be honest, I was hurt often and quite deeply.
Lately, God has been showing me what the outcome of those wounds has been. I've always considered myself fairly independent and, when need be, confrontational (sometimes lovingly, sometimes not). However, as God exposes the places in my heart that have been damaged, I am realizing that I am far more of a people-pleaser than I once realized. I am terrified of offending anybody. And the thought of being annoying to someone is mortifying. The problem is that I am constantly feeling like I am annoying or offensive. All of that has lent itself to making me into an uber-apologizer. I apologize for everything, whether I did something wrong or not. I guess in a way I just want to make sure I cover all my bases, so no one will ever be mad at me.
Thankfully, God has given me some very special blessings in the form of amazing friends who love me and accept me for who I am. And who will make sure I know it. One of them is my special friend Linda. God has used her to seal up some loose ends as He teaches me who I am in Him. On Friday Linda and I were driving out to Ada to go garage sale-ing. I started being Ms. Uber-Apologizer about something or other and Linda, in that beautiful shoot from the hip way of her's, stopped me short. "Okay, can I just have a side note," she interrupted. "You do NOT need to apologize for everything. I love you and you are my friend. You are not an inconvenience and you will never annoy me." That little rant of love went on for a minute, but the point was clear. Here was a friend that really does love me, who I don't have to worry about offending or annoying. It was a very epiphanic moment for me--one that I needed to hear from a human voice to affirm the voice of the Holy Spirit already at work in me.
Then today I got a very special e-mail from my very dear friend Sarah. I knew that she had taken tons of pictures at my kids' first birthday party and I kept meaning to get some copies of them. Instead, she suprised me by making this amazing video for me. It is such a treasure and I am so excited to have something like this to show my kids when they are older. I had to watch it several times because the first few times I could barely see through my tears. Tears of joy at the sweetness of my children. But moreso, tears of joy at the blessings that God has given me in the form of friends who love and care for me. I love you my special friends! Thank you for being God's blessings to me.
To view Sarah's video, go here.
For most of my life I have had friendships that...um...we'll say, that required extra grace on my part. For some reason I attracted girl friends who were obnoxiously self-centered and extremely passive-aggressive. Because I always strove to be a loyal friend, I ended up being poorly mistreated and my friendship was abused. To be honest, I was hurt often and quite deeply.
Lately, God has been showing me what the outcome of those wounds has been. I've always considered myself fairly independent and, when need be, confrontational (sometimes lovingly, sometimes not). However, as God exposes the places in my heart that have been damaged, I am realizing that I am far more of a people-pleaser than I once realized. I am terrified of offending anybody. And the thought of being annoying to someone is mortifying. The problem is that I am constantly feeling like I am annoying or offensive. All of that has lent itself to making me into an uber-apologizer. I apologize for everything, whether I did something wrong or not. I guess in a way I just want to make sure I cover all my bases, so no one will ever be mad at me.
Thankfully, God has given me some very special blessings in the form of amazing friends who love me and accept me for who I am. And who will make sure I know it. One of them is my special friend Linda. God has used her to seal up some loose ends as He teaches me who I am in Him. On Friday Linda and I were driving out to Ada to go garage sale-ing. I started being Ms. Uber-Apologizer about something or other and Linda, in that beautiful shoot from the hip way of her's, stopped me short. "Okay, can I just have a side note," she interrupted. "You do NOT need to apologize for everything. I love you and you are my friend. You are not an inconvenience and you will never annoy me." That little rant of love went on for a minute, but the point was clear. Here was a friend that really does love me, who I don't have to worry about offending or annoying. It was a very epiphanic moment for me--one that I needed to hear from a human voice to affirm the voice of the Holy Spirit already at work in me.
Then today I got a very special e-mail from my very dear friend Sarah. I knew that she had taken tons of pictures at my kids' first birthday party and I kept meaning to get some copies of them. Instead, she suprised me by making this amazing video for me. It is such a treasure and I am so excited to have something like this to show my kids when they are older. I had to watch it several times because the first few times I could barely see through my tears. Tears of joy at the sweetness of my children. But moreso, tears of joy at the blessings that God has given me in the form of friends who love and care for me. I love you my special friends! Thank you for being God's blessings to me.
To view Sarah's video, go here.
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